Free yourself and take your power back by being secure in who you are–flaws and all.Yvonne Pierre, The Day My Soul Cried: A Memoir
What’s an insecurity that comes to haunt you over and over again?
Mine is my voice. I have a higher-pitched voice that can sound childlike, which has put me at a disadvantage when it came to establishing my creditability. I’ve received feedback on job interviews that my voice makes me sound immature, on presentations that I should lower the tone of my voice to sound more credible, and on customer calls where the customer refused to engage because of how I sound.
The first time this happened to me, I was distraught and outraged. Despite my achievements and accomplishments, I’m always worried about people’s reactions when they hear my voice, that it will discredit me, that I will not be heard. Despite my achievements and accomplishments, every time someone comments on my voice, I get back into that dark hole.
I do not want to feel this way anymore and have taken some steps to ease my insecurity. I hope these are helpful to you as well.
1. Own Your Insecurities
None of us is perfect, but knowing what sets us off, and focusing on what we can control, will help you be less impacted by other’s judgements. I cannot control how my voice sounds, but what I can control is building up my knowledge so that the words that come out have meaning and power.
2. Let Them Have Their Opinions
I believe that everyone will have something to say about anything you are doing, but as long as you believe in yourself, and have a sense of who you are, they cannot hurt you. Take constructive feedback with an open mind, but also remember that you get to choose what you should actually be working on. Take the power of change into your own hands.
3. Hold onto How Amazing You Are
We have a tendency to hold onto the negatives over the positives so we need to keep the positives handy. It’s easy for me to disregard all my achievements when someone offers critical feedback, especially when it is about my insecurity.
Keep a folder or a journal of achievements and praises to refer to during these down times to remind yourself how great you are and what you’ve already achieved.
What is something that you’re self-conscious about that come up over and over again?
How do you manage to cope with or overcome the criticism?
You are amazing! Don’t ever forget that.